10 Important Life Lessons I've Learned at 30

On October 3rd 2017, I turned 30 years old. To think I am actually an age I once thought was ancient, is quite scary tbh.
What’s even more worrying is how little time it actually took to get here. It seems like only yesterday I left high school and now suddenly I’m middle aged! My years have been far from rosy but I have picked up a few life lessons along the way that I’ll share with you now.
And if anyone has some words of encouragement about turning 31, drop them in the comments below this post. Because in just over 5 weeks time, I'm sure I'll be heading for another midlife crisis situation!
Ok, so
1. At some point before turning 30 you will reach an awesome realisation that you don’t really give a fuck about what people think about you. And. It’s. BLISS. I can’t remember exactly when it happened for me but it was liberating nonetheless. Now? I can do the school run with no makeup, buy 90% of my clothes from Primark (they’re trendy AF anyway, so) not feel embarrassed about wanting to go home after 2 gins and absolutely no fucks are given for the fact I mostly enjoy pigging out on takeaway food and chilling with my other half on a weekend. People can think whatever the hell they want and it doesn’t bother me in the slightest.
2. You can’t stay in a relationship if it doesn’t make you happy at least 95% of the time. This is a big one, yes we all fall out with our other half at times (especially when they insist on leaving socks behind the bathroom door) but when it’s every single day over stupid insignificant things it’s time to move on. Being in a relationship that does nothing but drag you down is a waste of life. I’m so glad I reached my 30th year in a happy relationship, which brings me to…
3. Learn to love yourself so you can Be with someone because you love them, not because you need them. During a five month period of my life back in 2011/2012 I was a single Pringle and did more in that time for myself, than I ever could when in a relationship. That time set me up for life because I knew it would take someone AMAZING to change my single status. I enjoyed being on my own (I still do tbh) because I didn’t need anyone to make me happy. When you love yourself you only need yourself, everyone else is just a bonus. Being in a relationship now is like an extension of me, Tom makes me happy, a better person – but not a different person.
4. Marriage isn’t the be all and end all. Ok, so there have been times in my life where I’ve gone up and down the scale on how important marriage is to me. I’ve been right at the top where I’d thought marriage was all I wanted, right at the bottom thinking I’d hate to be married and now, at 30, I’m somewhere in the middle thinking “yeah, it would be nice to get married, but there’s no rush”. I’ve already done everything backwards anyway, marriage is all that’s left to do. But for now we’re having fun doing up our house, planning holidays and just enjoying time. When you’re happy and already got something to live for, you see marriage isn’t the only important thing.
5. You are the only person in control of your life. If you think your life is shit then do something about it because the only person who can change it is you. If you want something, go and get it. ‘Cuz I’m telling you, there’s no one sitting around just handing out great lives to people who don’t work for them. Make the changes; join the gym, quit your boring-ass job, drop the loser boyfriend, quit smoking, do a skydive – the world is alive with a billion possibilities that are all achievable if you go after them.
6. Start saving now for a better future. It’s only when you see someone in a position you don’t want to be in yourself that you question your own life. After seeing my dad struggle with illnesses the last few years of his life, it dawned on me that I definitely should have started saving a long time ago for my future. Not just for my health but well-being and peace of mind. If anything happened to me I’d want to know my kids would be ok. That I could afford care without relying on them.
7. Motherhood is mother-fucking hard! Anyone who says being a mom is the easiest job in the world is full of shit. Because it’s the hardest, most tiring most debilitating job anyone could ever do. No matter what you do, sometimes you don’t feel you’re doing it right, everyday you question yourself and your ability to parent these tiny humans and there’s always someone waiting in the midst to put shame on everything. You certainly can’t please everyone in this mothering game so just be yourself and do whatever the hell YOU want!
8. You only need a small group of close friends, even if there’s only one. When we were kids, most of us probably thought having a shitload of mates was great, but as you get older you realise most of them were simply fake-ass bitches and sometimes, they never grow up. When you reach 30 you’re left with true friends, the only ones you need and you’ll be more than happy if that’s just you and your bestie.
9. Don’t forget to have a life when you’re busy making a living. I say this to my other half all the time, he works so damn hard he burns himself into the ground. I’ve also realised myself that sometimes, you just need to take a break. A weeks wage can be missed but your health can’t. A weekend spent with your family is more important that a weekends double pay. If all you’re working for is paying bills and surviving, there’s no life in that. Make that hard work actually mean something.
10. Finally. It’s true what our parents said; time goes by so quickly, blink and you’ll miss it. Now that I’m 30, I see that I could have done so much more with my life if I would have made better decisions. I’ve missed out on so much and yes, I do have regrets. But you know what? There really is no time like the present, so instead of dwelling on all the things I didn’t do, I’m going to concentrate on all the thing I still can do! Time is a luxury none of us really have so it’s important to make the most of it; right here, right now.
Hayley-Jayne Xx
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