It’s 5:54am. I set my alarm for 5am in a hope of getting an hour to myself to redesign my blog and catch up on some paperwork. Neither was really going to happen, expecting to get an hour to myself these days is like expecting snow at Christmas; useless and disappointing.
The moment my alarm went off Edward woke. I gave him some milk and hoped he’d drop back off to sleep, by 5:30am he was still awake. Smiling sweetly like I was the most amazing thing he’s ever seen, as he always does whenever he sees me. He’s now downstairs, playing peek-a-boo at the window with overly cherpy birds, while also jumping all over me as I try to write this on my phone. Any hope of an hours peace is officially out of the aforementioned window!
This pattern will continue for the rest of the day and won’t end until at least 9pm. And that’s if I’m lucky. You see, my dearest Edward is one clingy-ass kid. No one other than me will do. He needs to be with me, all the damn time.
I’ll try to wash up soon but he’ll be there, tugging at my pj leggings, hands up requesting a hug. He’ll cry when I go to wake the older kids and cry some more if I try to hide in the garage to drink a cup of tea. He’ll then proceed to follow me wherever I go throughout the day; to the bathroom, the kitchen, anywhere I try to sit alone.
Being almost 2 years old now, naps are few and far between and if by some wonder they do happen? That time is filled with all the shit I haven’t yet managed to get done. He might even decide to be a total knob and take a late nap at 4:30pm, you know, just so he can pester me throughout the whole damn night.
Sometimes, his desperate attachment can be dead cute. That adorable smile he gives when he loves only me, flinging those arms out as he runs to me, those tight hugs around my neck as if he’s practicing his choke-hold. All super lovely indeed.
But then there are the times when it’s just all too suffocating. The times I need to pee, or take a bath. The times I have to leave him with someone else to take Jordan to kickboxing or take Charlie to speech therapy. The times when I try to eat a meal, or the times at 9pm when I need to catch up with work. He’s always there, crying, moaning or whinging to be held.
The hardest times? When I try to cuddle Charlie or the older kids; he’s not having any of that shit. To him, I’m all his and my love and attention isn’t for sharing. Should Tom and I attempt an embrace? Edward is there, right in the middle to break us up.
He just will not leave me alone! I’ve toyed with the idea of sending him to nursery but I know exactly what he’d be like; a crying, screaming mess. The kind of crying screaming mess that makes himself sick with all the hysteria. The kind that can’t be calmed by a dummy (he doesn’t have one) or a comfort blanket or even a hug. He’s the kind of kid that would literally scream all day until either a) everyone around him passed out b) he passed out or c) I returned.
Having a child who is as clingy as my Edward is pretty tough going. There’s no opportunity for peace or time alone, even with daddy in the house. He still wants me. So Moms of clingy kids I salute you! I feel your pain when you’ve completely lost your shit and all you want is 5 minutes to pee alone. I hear you when you say “fuck sake! What do you want?” When your kid is back at your ankles 5 seconds after you managed to break away from him. I see you when you’re crying in your room because all you want (and need) is a break. It’s a tough job, but hey, someone’s gotta do it. And I guess that someone is us