Do you know what I hate? All these government guidelines about how bloody perfect my kids should be.
It starts from when they’re very young, days old even. You know, all those booklets and internet pages about “7 days old: what your baby should be doing this week”. And it goes on and on. Every week, month, year there is some sodding milestone our kid must have reached; everything from talking, walking to how tall they are and how much they weigh.
And that’s the big one isn’t it? Weight. God fuckinh forbid our kid be 1lb over the government guideline “ideal” weight. All hell will breaklose amungst the professionals that decide was is and is not right for our kids and we will be seriously mommy shamed beyond repair.
“Your child is over weight, he is obese. He needs to go on a diet. Here, take some leaflets on healthy eating. Do you know what fruit and vegetables are. Your child is at risk of heart attacks. And strokes. He’ll be way behind his peers at school if you don’t do something about this very real, very serious problem”
Shut. The. Fuck. Up.
I mean seriously? What exactly would this world be like if every single 4 year old child was the exact same height and weight? If they all walked and talked at exactly the same time. If they learned their ABCs on their first day at nursery and can all count to ten before the last bell of the day. Where is individuality in any of this? Can kids not have their own identity or must the all march in a single straight line like robots fresh out of production?
I’m so pissed off. It’s not exactly a secret that my son Charlie is a big lad. He literally always has been. He was born a healthy 7lb 6oz but by just a couple of weeks old he was pushing 9lb. He jumped those percentile lines 3 or 4 at a time and it was even suggested I substitute his milk (exclusively breast from a bottle at this point) with water. They actually wanted my baby to go on a diet because he was “getting very big very quickly”. May I remind you, this is off breast milk; you know, that thing we are so desperately encouraged to do, just let that sink in for a moment.
Charlie was not impressed with the water substitute, we had gone from a contented, settled baby to an all out nightmare child in just a few days. He wanted his milk so milk is what we gave. Inevitably he was always in clothes above his age: at 6 months old he was bursting out of clothes for 12months+ by age 2 he was in Age 3-4 and now age 4 (I’m not even kidding) he’s in Age 6-7.
Yes, Charlie is a very big boy indeed. You’re probably expecting me to defend obesity by saying something like “it’s in his genes” but it’s not so I won’t. We are all (except Charles) of an average “ideal” weight, with no one in any part of our family obese. So it must be his diet, right? Well yes, if dry crackers and ham sandwiches make people fat.
Charlie isn’t a big eater. In fact, he’s even more fussy than my oldest son, Jordan. And that boy was a serious fuss pot. Charlie will have porridge for breakfast, a ham sandwich or dry crackers for lunch and something with chicken for dinner. Chicken is his favourite. He’s not big on chocolate or sweets and even turns his nose up at birthday cake.
The one thing he does still like however is milk. Of course, now he’s older, we only offer him semi-skimmed but still, next to chicken, milk is also his favourite.
So why is he so big? Honestly? I don’t know, I guess it is quite simply, just the way he is. Everyone said he’d lose his baby fact once he started walking but he seems to put weight on daily. I don’t know what to do to stop it or even make him lose it because it really is just the way my boy is made.
I do wonder, if the government put too much emphasis on weight without knowing the real facts. Charlie eats a healthy diet, we walk everywhere, every day. He plays football with his siblings and even mini boxing matches. He gets plenty of sleep and plenty of fluids. Yet still he is classed as obese because of the numbers that read on the scale.
What the government are saying is that every 4 year old boy in the country should be exactly the same weight, the weight that is considered by them, to be “right” to be “ideal”. I’ve no idea who these morons are that set the target weights but I’d love to give them one giant slap in the face. There is no room for diversity. No room for individuality, no room for anything but “perfect”. And should your child not be rendered perfect? You, the parents, will be the ones getting it in the neck.
It will be entirely your fault if your child is overweight, even if it is from the recommended, highly pressurised 6 months exclusive breastfeeding. It’s still your fault if your child will only eat crackers and grapes and also your fault if he sleeps 12 hours a night. No matter what you do, if your child is just smidge over their mark, you’re getting punished for it.
Well I say; screw that sh*t.
So what if your kid is a bit Chunky. So what if his clothes are 3 years bigger than his age, screw those pissing percentile lines and let these kids be who they are without having yet another target they have to reach. It’s exhausting, for all of us.
My child is not a solider, he is not a robot. He is a 4 year old boy who is still learning about the world around him. A boy who dreams of meeting twilight sparkle and playing football for WBA. A boy who is cheeky and smart, loving and kind. I will not allow some made up numbers created by uneducated, so-called professionals, define my child. And neither should you.