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When Your Daughter Becomes Grown

Oh fuck it.
Last night it happened.
I suddenly saw my baby girl turn into one of those teenagers. You know, the ones with an awesome group of friends, spending Friday nights at the roller disco and having a sleep over with their bestie.
It all became too real that my first born is actually getting all grown and has literally, over night, developed a better social life than me. Soon there will come a time when she spends less and less time in the house and I’ll spend most of my time wondering when she’s going to be rolling in through the door and how well she’s going to try to lie about not being drunk.
I hate it.
Forget the attitude and temper tantrums at her brothers, this new “growing up” stage is bringing me far more worry. How do you even handle a daughter who is growing up so quickly? To think one day she’ll be hanging out down a park with several bottles of WKD BLUE is quite the concern.
I’ve no idea how to handle this, how much space I need to give her, where the boundaries should be. She’s still a child but not a baby. I want to give her freedom but also the guidelines I never had. When I was a kid, my dad would let me stay out all hours and not question where I was or what I’d been up to, which did me no favours at all.
Everyday I can see her changing, these days she hates leaving the house with me if I don’t have makeup on, she won’t go into town with her Nan any more and has already pulled out the “you can’t take pictures of me without my permission” card (to her Nan). She’s happy to spend hours in her room binge watching Vampire Diaries, is obsessed with her phone, has a boyfriend (eek!) and now a social life that I could only dream of.
Her tastes in fashion and accessories have gotten more expensive by the month and of course, she wants to be a YouTuber.
She’s just spent two weeks in Miami, (the 2nd time in her life) with spending money she actually earned and she’ll be heading to Paris in February, she’s only 13!
Lord give me strength!
Sometimes, I look at her and wonder where my baby girl has gone. If we’ll ever be as close as we once were. I worry that I’ll become an insignificant part of her life soon and she won’t need me anymore. I’d hate that. She’s no doubt my best friend, my greatest helper and the only person I enjoy taking on shopping trips to Merry Hill.
It’s true what they say, each year of a child’s life you learn more about being a mother. It’s a forever learning journey where you’re constantly having to adjust. Time really goes go by so fast and children grow quicker than you can blink. One day they’re tiny cute babies the next, they’re staying out until 10pm at their first roller disco! I guess I kind of understand why people say cherish every moment, because soon, those small moments will be gone.
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