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Why I'm Not "Proud" Of My C-Section Scar

I know that’s hard for some of you to hear but let me explain.
My c-section scar is nothing to be “proud” of. I didn’t work hard for it, it certainly wasn’t my mission in life to be hacked open and it’s not something I consider an achievement. If anything, it reminds me of what a failure I felt at not being able to grow my forth baby the same way I had grown my previous 3. I don’t feel the need to show it off like some kind of trophy, the only thing I did to “deserve” it was get pregnant.
So no, I’m not proud of it. It doesn’t fill me with joy and overwhelming emotion and to be honest it’s nothing extraordinary. It’s just a scar. A mark that shows I’ve birthed a child through my stomach. Which, was pretty easy on my part. I just lay there. The surgeons created that scar, them who stitched me up neatly. I just didn’t die.
That scar to me, is nothing more than a physical reminder of birth. It is the reason I will never birth another child. A reminder of how my body failed me, how it become so weak that a natural vaginal delivery was not possible. Yes I survived major surgery and yes my child was healthy but that mark across my stomach is not my gold star for doing a great job.
So forgive me if I don’t join in with the battle scar brigade of mothers who show off their section scars with pride, it’s not for me. In fact, I find mine quite unsightly despite serveral professionals saying how neat it is. What makes me proud is my children, I may not have been able to grow them all to term or in the right position but now that they are here I’m teaching them how to walk, talk, live, be happy, decent humans and that is my greatest achievement of all. 
No scar or any amount of stretch marks will make me feel proud, I’m not ashamed of them but I won’t deliberately show them off either. They are simply a reminder of what my body housed, they are mine and they are personal. My children are my trophies, they are my real pride.
Hayley-Jayne Xx
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