An Open Letter To Women Suffering Domestic Abuse.



I see you, sat there alone with the baby in a darkened room. The doors, windows and curtains closed so that no one from the outside world can see your suffering.
This isn't your choice. This is his way of life, to keep you closed off, only for himself.
I see the strain in your eyes, as you wonder how your life ended up like this. Questioning what you did to deserve it and if there will ever be a way out.
Let me tell you something; you don't deserve it and there is a way out. There is a life out there for you, a better life. A life that can be filled with happiness and joy, a life of freedom where you don't have to explain your every move. A life where you don't have to be afraid of when the next row will start, punch is thrown or if you will survive another week.
I see you contemplating calling the police but you're worried you won't be believed, that perhaps they won't do anything, that they won't help you now.
I see you cowering in the corner, wondering how far he'll take it, what he'll do next, what it will take for all of this to end. You try to make it stop but everything you say or do just makes things worse. You think about death, maybe finally you'll find some peace there.
Please don't give up.
I know you're afraid. You're afraid of what he'll do to you if you leave, afraid of what his family will do when he fills their heads with bile and lies about you, the same bile and lies he told you about his exs.
I know you're worried about the safety of your children, frantic that they might be taken from you. Scared that one day, they too might get hurt.
Try to be strong. Try to be brave.
I know You think about their future and what their lives will be like if they continue to see such evil. You wonder what kind of people they will turn out to be when the only behaviour they have to model themselves on is violence and fear.
I see you, holding your babies tightly as they cry with you. You apologise for what they have seen, you apologise for their upset, you apologise for their obvious distress. You promise you'll make it stop, that you'll keep them safe. You promise you will always protect them.
You know what you have to do and yet, somehow, you're pulled back in.
I see you, when he's on the phone begging and pleading and promising it won't happen again. I see you, when he says "im so sorry, please, please forgive me." I see you when he's declareing his love for you but also when he says "I only did it because you....." I see your mind turning as you weigh up your options, you know this is toxic. You know it is wrong and yet you do still love him. The good him, the one that is rarely there anymore but when it is, he is the most perfect him. And you hold on to that. One. Last. Time.
I hear you when you say "that's it, I've had enough. I won't put up with this any longer. I deserve more". And you do deserve more, so much more. Please don't go back again, break free. Realise what a strong, wonderful, inspirational woman you are. Realise you don't need him. You'll be happy on your own. You'll be safe. You'll be free.
I know it's hard. I know you're not sure what to do or how to do it. But please, talk to someone, anyone. Make a plan and get out of there. I know you know one day it will be too late. But today is not that day.
You see, I see you now. You're happy. You did it. You got out. Yes it's hard at first, you may feel lost, you may feel alone but at least you are free. Free from the shackles that held you down, free from oppression and desperation. You did it. You were strong and you are a fighter and a survivor.
I know you'll be ok. I know this because once, you were me...
Hayley-Jayne Xx
#7YearsFree #stopdomesticabuse #hopeisfreedom
*note: this post was to be in no way discriminatory towards a certain sex; I'm fully aware domestic abuse happens to both men & women, the contents of this text is for example only*
Are you suffering domestic abuse? Please get help.

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