The day of commercialized declarations of love is right around the corner and if you’re wondering what the woman in your life (particularly the mother of you’re children) would really like, then read on.
1. Tea. All the tea.
Preferably hot, with two sugars. If you really want to push the boat out, make it a snazzy brand, like Twinnings. She’d also really love the time to drink it, undisturbed. In peace.
2. A bath.
A long hot bath. With bubbles and bath bombs an’ sh*t. No stray bits of Lego floating on the top or random Avengers figures lingering at the bottom. Just a nice normal bath with a full one-hour time slot where you promise the children will not thunder through the door demanding they need another crap. Put a lock on the door. She’ll love you forever.
OK, so they’re definitely a bit cliche on Vday but honestly? When was the last time you bought her any? And not just a cheap bunch from a garage forecourt. If you don’t know which kind she likes? Just ask the florist for something as fabulous as your wife. They’ll know what to do.
Again, cliche but still, when was the last time your wife got to eat a whole box of chocolates to herself without either you or the kids dipping in for your share? Chocolate gives you endorphins, endorphins make you happy – if you want a happy wife? BUY HER THE DAMN CHOCOLATES!
5. A new dressing gown.
I see your eyes rolling there as you think “what the f*ck?!” But I’m dead serious. She really wants a new dressing gown. To be precise, she wants this one from Ted Baker. Gift wrapped. With a bow. She does not want lingerie! Lingerie hints that you’re expecting sexy time, she does not want to add “sexy time” to her already long list of thing she has to “do”.
6. A Weekend break in a log cabin.
Sorry to break it you but she’d probably prefer to be alone in this too. With a plethora of wines and Gin in the mini bar. But if you must tag along? There is to be no mention of the kids, work or home. A break is a break. From everything. Oh and make sure it has a Hot Tub. Everyone loves a hot tub.
7. And the big one. The one thing your wife, the mother of your children, wants more than anything is this world is SLEEP! A whole night of undisturbed, blissful, peaceful sleep. The kind where she can go to bed at 8pm and not wake until 8am. The kind where you sleep on the couch so as not to wake her with your snoring or a random knee launching into her back. The kind where she gets to fully star-fish the double bed all by herself. The kind where she just sleeps and maybe you bring her a cup of hot tea in the morning.
So forget the Pandora charms, the Ann Summers Sex Cheques and the fakery of bullshit cards. Put a little effort in and give her what she really wants.
Ps. Please don’t forget the chocolates.
For more Valentines Day Inspiration, you can follow my dedicated Pinterest board here